16 (one week)

(WARNING: This one is more sad that funny. Sorry!)

I only got one week to live. In Angers, I mean. But I'm starting to freak out like it is literally "one week to live." I had awesome fun Saturday playing ultimate frisbee with a group of 14 people. I even got to explain the rules in French and then watch the more versed speakers explain it in Japanese to the not-so-versed.

And then yesterday Joe and I walked all the way around Lac-de-Maine, which was 5 kilometers (maybe 20 in US dollars.) We were both feelin' fine and enjoying the sun...

COMEDY HIGHLIGHTS:

(an old women walks by using two walking sticks for balance)
Joe: Looks like somebody forgot her skis!

(when discussing the ultimate frisbee game from the day before)
Nicolas: Did you see how the Japanese girls were trying to block the frisbee?
Joe: Did they use karate chops?

Nicolas: Check out that girl in the grass? Why is she wearing a shinguard?
Joe: That's an ankle brace.

...but then we ran into Ku, Jun and Hiroko (who is my current asiatique preferée.) They were going to make the most of the sun and invited us along but, at this point, Joe and I were definitely cooked. So Joe was a definite no and I talked myself out of going in the interest of "the vibe" that Joe's always trying to get me to follow (which might just be common sense.) So we parted ways and Joe and I headed toward my place to eat. But I was freaking out! My anxiety was through the roof, which it really hadn't done since I was at the peak of being enamored with Yen Ni. So I tell Joe and Joe says, "But dude, Hiroko's not even giving you any signals. And you only met her last week." So I think about it and decide it's not her so much (though she is so freaking cool) as it is the fact that all this is gonna be over starting Saturday and I will have no options or opportunities with any of these people. But being as girl crazy as I am, I immediately associate those feelings with romance. "Joe! In one week there will be no more Japanese girls! Ahh!" Joe tells me I need to chill out, it's gonna be okay. And also that I am "High-Risk for Heartbreak" (which is also going to be the name of our new Metro Station cover band.)

So I get my head on straight, tell myself the vibe's not right for the park today and I gotta keep on keepin' on or I am going to have a coronary. But then we see Yuka, Seika, Mai and Akane waving us over from across the street. Joe says, "You wanna go over there, don't you?" I say "Buhh..." and bolt into traffic.

The girls say they're going to the park to join Ku and co. They urge us to go. I give Joe a pleading look. He shakes his head disappointedly. I begrudgingly say that I gotta get back. So Joe and I continue walking.

So I say, "Joe, hey, I didn't go with them. Good job, huh?"
"Dude, if they had even smiled at you a little wider, you woulda been a goner."
"Hey man! There were four of them! I can't handle those odds!"
"I'm trying to save you and you're like the kid in Porkchop Sandwiches goin' "ba b-buh bah bah bah bah" and I'm saying "Go! Get the fuck out of here! We're all dead!"



I remember distinctly a February in high school where I was so depressed that Winter was ending. No more sledding, or snow or snowball fights. And then I remembered there still remained Spring. And Summer too. Somehow I had forgotten that there existed other seasons. I had warped the end of winter into the end of existence. I think that is still my problem. I have little to no concept of future beyond the immediate. So after this week, I will have no friends ever again. It's not "the end of a chapter." It's the end of the book. And freakin' Harry Potter isn't even gonna marry Ginny. (Which I thought was stupid anyway.) I can tell myself how crazy and untrue it is to think like this, but a large part of me doesn't know another way to interpret the situation.

High-risk for heartbreak is right.