2.3 Dinner

Yenni and I met up with one of her Taiwanese friends, Frog, and she led us to the vaguely Chinese restaurant. The food was some hodgepodge of different Asian stuff. In fact, I don't really know that much of what I was eating, because when Yenni and I were eat the buffet, I made an inquiry as to the nature of some gray, fibrous looking thing I had just put on my plate. Yenni smiled her "you're not gonna like this, but I will" smile and told me it was cow stomach. Never one to turn down a challenge, even an unspoken one, I piled more on to my plate and continued down the line, scooping up mussels, several types of tofu, leaves and orbs of varying consistencies.

I met the other girls at the table: I I (like e. e. cummings), Karine and Eloise. I don't know which of these names are Taiwanese and which are their made-up international ones, but if I had to put down money, Eloise would not be my first guess for most popular Taiwanese baby names. They were all very nice and seemed quite concerned with my potential ability to withstand spicy food. I assured them that I had had plenty experience in this department and I would be fine. They indicated that I didn't seem to be aware of the possible danger I was putting myself in by partaking in the fondu. I said, "Well if I die, I die." That got a reaction. These chicks laughed like I was the next Bill Murray.

Well, I had a plate full of strange semi-cooked looking things and there was a pot divided into two halves of different boiling soup kinda liquid with a small fire under it. Most people would have put this together, but I still had no idea what I was supposed to do until Frog handed me one of those wire rods with a mesh net on the end and told me to drop my frozen goods into the pot. She said there was the unspicy side, which was green, and the spicy side, which was orangish with an end that had a sort of rouge-y algae floating on it. She politely implied that I still had time to back out and choose the unspicy side. It was kinda like when Morpheus offered Neo [both the red and the blue pill.] I'm sure you realize that of all the hollywood actors that have come and gone, I am most similar to Keanu Reeves, so it only makes sense that I continued with my suicide mission. I scooped my ragtag team of sea creatures into the pool.

The other members of my table were all quite involved in a conversation in Chinese, so I asked Yenni what the cultural ratio was in the restaurant. Clearly, I was one of the few Westerners, but I can't tell the difference between Taiwanese and Chinese and I assumed that was the majority. Yenni said we were the only table of Taiwanese and the rest were Chinese. She knew this because of the difference between their accents. I studied the girls at my table and the other people in the restaurant. The best I could come up with in terms of physical difference is that the Taiwanese often have fuller lips and bigger noses than the Chinese, but I think I'm going to have to poll a larger group before I can submit that conclusion any science journals.

Frog said I could now [withdraw] my meal from the lazarus pit. I didn't have any idea how I was going to find the random assortment that I had chosen from amidst the other ocean life and the rollicking waves. I plunged my net in and hoped my babies could find their way home. I plopped three scoops into my bowl and then asked Frog about the sauce she was using. She said there was hot sauce and peanut sauce and I could use either or both. I realized that everyone at the table was looking at me. I took the hot sauce and poured some into the bowl.

Now I don't know when I learned to use chopsticks, but I had discovered at Jun's a few nights before that I'm pretty darn good at it. I also found out that of the different chopstick crews in Asia, Koreans are the worst because they are lazy and use spoons more than they need to. The Japanese are the best, according to Jun, who (you guessed it) is Japanese. Anyway, I was all cocky by that point and always enjoy impressing Asians, so I pulled my chopsticks out of their holster and start playing the crane game with my food. As expected, I rocked it, lifting a rather rectangular [morcel] of dark brown stuff to my mouth and popping it in. The girls all said "ohhhhhh!" in response to my nimble fingers and awaited my reaction.

It turned out to be no big deal. Barely even hot. I know, I know, so anti-climactic. You were hoping for something better. So I swallowed and then turned to my companions and said, "Okay. Not bad." And they all went "ohhhhh!" again. Which is when the end of The Terminator 2: Judgement Day occurred in my mouth. Fortunately, only Yenni notices my eyeballs suddenly dilate and my overly controlled reach for my water. She rolled her eyes at me and shakes her head. I finished my water and realized that the carafe on the table is empty. Then casually ran to the bathroom.

2.2 Fence

I was walking back from the bar the other night with Garam, Hiroshi and Jun. There's a bunch of construction in downtown Angers since they started building a tram and 3-foot metal fences run along the sides of the sidewalks. I turned to these others.

"Who doesn't think I can jump over that fence?" I said.

"What?" Jun said.

Still parallel to the sidewalk, I leapt and attempted to rotate over the fence in mid-air. My left foot caught on it and I fell towards the asphalt. I caught myself on the palms of my hands. My chin bounced off the gravel.

"Nicolas!" said everyone.

"Ha ha ha" said a bunch of French dudes on the other side of the street.

"I'm fine" I replied with a shit-eating grin. I got up and walked parallel to the group, still on the other side of the fence. I looked at my torn up hands shaking my head and giggling at my stupidity. I wiped a bit of blood out of my beard.

2.1 New Rule

New Rule:

Cute girls are not allowed to leave their underwear hanging in the bathroom when they let me stay at their apartments.